Discovering Marie

Posts Tagged ‘grief

SO I am finally coming to join the world a bit more these days. It is very difficult to find the right words lately. I usually am full of them. Since Mom passed away I got mainly nothing. My Love, Crocheting and a great support team is helping through my grief.

Seeing that I am basically wordless I will let you see that my April was full of yarny goodness

Cord Pouch

Cord Pouch

Hook Necklace

Mango Charity Scarf

Key Puch Cell Phone Case and Sunglass Case

Hook Rollup Case

Square no. 10

Opened Hook Roll Up Case

Jewelry Pouch

Surprise Charity Scarf

Cloudy Seas Charity Scarf

Cleaning Cloth

Thursday January 29, 2015 6:13 pm is a date and time I will never forget. This is when the call that changed my life forever came in. It was my Dad calling from Tennessee.  He said he was calling to tell me that Mom passed away. She took a nap and just never woke up. After talking with Dad I hung up and literally whaled to My Love that ” My Mom died today”. I knew one day that call would come…but I never thought it would come now.  It is so hard knowing that I will never hear her voice again. I had talked to her  for maybe two minutes the week before when she called to tell me my Aunt Katie was in the hospital and not doing well. I am feel such regret for not being a better daughter. I want to tell her how much I Love her and that I am sorry…but I can’t. Dad says she loved me. Just that morning I deleted her last text message and an old voice mail.

I learned once I was in Tennessee that she had been in a lot of pain everyday. Dad and My Sister say at least she at peace now. I am thankful that she is not in pain anymore. One can never prepare for the loss of a parent.

I took a week off from work because once I got back home there was just no way that I could function at work.   I am so very fortunate to work for an employer that told me to take all the time I needed.  Everyone overall at work have been very understanding. As if this is not enough I received a text message on  February 16, 2015 from one of my cousin’s. She wanted to let me know that Aunt Katie passed away. The services for her where local and last weekend. I could not attend…I just felt that if I did I might actually break.

One thing that I have been able to do is join a group online for those coping with the loss of a parent. It does help a bit knowing that I am not alone. Although moments like now when the tears just keep coming, when I feel an empty spot inside and all alone I wish there was somewhere I could turn.

I needed wanted to share with you all.

Mom’s high school pciture

Mom’s Birthday 2014

My parents on their last vacation together

My parents on their last vacation together

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September 2022